Narratives of the Disengaged: The Job Search

The JC Skinny on the "Cisco Fatty"

Common sense is fading very fast in our society. Too often, our society falls victim to sympathetic measures with those that should have complied with street smarts, but didn't instill for whatever reason. Perhaps it's my age, my outlook on life, and the difficile job search have shaped me to lean towards the dark side. People often refer to me as "mean" as I don't fall into the "poor you" demeanor very often. As someone who's been in the job market since July, I find very little reason to be sympathetic towards someone who just plain clearly should have known better. Common sense, sadly, isn't all that common. But it should be. In fact, it should be a law.

The recent phenomenon over the girl who lost her job in "140 characters or less" have made me become rather condescending. I find it hard to sympathize with someone who posted certain information on the internet and then respond like a deer in highlights.

A college graduate (I forgot her name, but if you know the story, you know it anyway) applies for a job with Cisco. She gets hired for the position, and decides to tweet her "enthusiasm" via Twitter to her college pals:

"Cisco just offered me a job! Now I have to weigh the utility of a fatty paycheck against the daily commute to San Jose and hating the work."

What she didn't realize was that her tweet was publicly announced on the world wide web, as she forget to limit her tweets to friends only (or in Twitter's case...."followers."). An affiliate with the company (or something) saw her tweet:

"Who is the hiring manager. I’m sure they would love to know that you will hate the work. We here at Cisco are versed in the web."

Needless to say, she lost the gig, and curtailed from there. That involved name-calling, releasing her personal information, and quickly became the laughing stock on Twitter and everywhere else. I do not condone such barbaric measures, and people honestly need to find something better to do than go the extra mile in making this girl's life miserable. The damage has been done, and people need to get past this. However, I'm not expected to be sympathetic with her actions, and any defense mechanism she has used just adds fuel to the fire.

She admits in her blog that she used bad judgment. As much as it pains for me to confess this...I am not perfect. I am fully aware that I have said and done things that were construed entirely out of bad judgment. Though I never reached worldwide stardom as she has, the idea of coming up with any kind of defense is illogical. After balancing her infamous and absurd tweet in her blog, she quickly proclaims she personally knows every single one of her 45 followers. I'm not impressed. With the exception of one person, I personally know every single friend on my Facebook profile (35). From my perspective, if she truly wanted to keep it intimate from the beginning, why didn't she choose Facebook to make such updates, instead of Twitter? On Facebook, you have the option of privatizing your profile so you can make as many snarky remarks as you want, and outsiders would be left out in the cold. On my Facebook page, I eliminated the "Add as Friend" button, because I would prefer you send me a message (Send a Message) indicating who you are and why you want to add me as a friend. I am beyond college age, and even I have figured this out. This girl, freshly out of college, was not aware of such internet intricacies. I find that very hard to believe. But that probably makes me an "internet superhero." Cool! I'll be sure to add that to my resume under "Career Achievements."

The remainder of her blog post discussed Twitter in general, and the many perspectives on how Twitter can be ultimately used against you. I can agree that Joe Public doesn't always use Twitter to the fullest potential, and/or use it as a vehicle to to proclaim their superiority to the world. But here lies the important discretion when it comes to Twitter: use common sense. Twitter, from my perspective, is an internet version of a tavern, with a few good articles thrown in. You have the free will to tweet anything you like, and share any kind of information you're willing to share. Or not. That's the beauty of it. If you're lucky, you make a few pals along the way, and help promote their cause, whatever that may be. At least, that's my idea of Twitter. My sarcasm is best left to those who know me well or at least familiar with my style...so, I head over to Facebook. Sometimes, my witticisms will sneak its way through Twitter, but some things can't be helped, as it reveals a large part of my charisma. As far as privatizing my tweets, I do not protect my updates. I feel that if I protect my updates, it defeats the purpose of Twitter to begin with. So, I proceed with caution with what I tweet, while implementing some common sense (oy, there's that dirty word again) along the way.

Keeping the theme of my blog in mind, one could easily conjure the argument that I am no better than Cisco Fatty, maybe even worse. The difference here is, 1) I'm not using my real name, 2) I frequently psycho-analyze all aspects of my job search, which, as far as I'm concerned, reveals some truth, and 3) I have nothing to lose. I do not have a job waiting for me in the wings, unlike the "Cisco Fatty" girl.

In turn, my blog can be used against me for revealing what appears to be an anti-team spirit oriented approach. One could easily wonder about my willingness to go above and beyond. The flipside is that I'm allowed to say and feel anything I want, and my opinions do not reflect on job performance. Some folks may see that differently, and that is a chance I am willing to take. "Cisco Fatty" girl just flat out said "this job's gonna suck" in a polite way, but she has to realize that she, too, must understand and accept the consequences. 

If you make a worldwide mistake, own up to it and move on. Accept the criticisms with dignity and perhaps put some thought into disabling your Twitter account along the way. Don't criticize Twitter for your actions. As far as the folks that continue with name-calling and other barbaric tactics...just STOP. Any cruel and unusual internet tactic will not make her undo her infamous tweet. What's done is done. There's no turning back the clock. If there were, I'd love to turn back the clock on a lot of my past interviews. Common sense will go a long way. Know it. Use it. Love it.

This post dedicated to Cosmo

I've applied to six different places last week, and at least 4 out of 6 perfectly match my qualifications. The other two, well, not so sure. It's in my nature to take a chance, provided that there are no spelling and grammar errors in my documents.

One job posting seemed out of the ordinary, but because I have a secret desire to work in veterinary medicine along with previous experience, I applied for a receptionist/vet assistant position at a nearby animal hospital. There is something about drawing blood, SQ fluid therapy, processing fecals, along with the rest of the science and protocols, draws me to this profession. Of course, I'm also a huge animal lover, and coming up with an end result that is positive makes it worthwhile to suffer through the bad elements. During my brief tenure at my last veterinary-related gig (I ended up leaving for personal reasons, but still retain a very good relationship with them), I learned a lot. I'm not just referring to the science aspect, but also emotional. You learn in a hurry, not neccessarily instituted by choice, about emotional obstacles. You learn huge lessons about acceptance. You have to learn control your anger towards someone who wants to put their cat down because of a urinary tract infection (and the doctor who agrees with her). And this reminds of a story. I will never forget Cosmo....

Cosmo was a 6-8 week old kitten who was a longtime patient at the hospital where I previously worked. He was something fierce. He was a little thing but was all attitude. If he had the ability to talk, he would say, "Come on! I DARE you! I triple dare you! You can't outplay me! Lookit...I'm chasing my tail. Awesome!!" Cosmo didn't care if you didn't like him. If you even look at him, he will try with all his might to steal your heart. Dogs are certainly no exception. One day, Cosmo was extending his paw outside his kennel. He extended his paw low enough where the neighboring dog from below bit Cosmo. We had to clean the wound and apply the dressing. Do you think Cosmo cared? Hell no! I think he was glad that he provoked the dog just enough to bring out the dog's weakness. Cosmo certainly enjoyed the company of anyone and everyone, and loved to challenge you. At the end of a long day, he succombs to his kitten mode and purrs loudly as you're petting him. Cosmo loved everyone.

Unfortuantley, Cosmo was very sick. He had ringworm. During my shift, I took over as his caretaker. Fed him, medicated him, kept him company. This is one of the many challenges about working at an animal hospital because it's too easy to become emotionally attached. I couldn't help it. As sick as he was, he was a real fighter. I admired that about him. With admiration, comes observation. I noticed that he was wheezing a lot. I notified the doctor right away. He seemed to have taken genuine interest for a few minutes. Checked his heart, his lungs. He didn't seem to concerned after the brief check-up. I figured he knew what he was doing. After all, he has the all-important, almighty initials after his last name. Clearly he must know what he's talking about.

One day, Cosmo's "guardians" decided they wanted to conduct a declawing surgical procedure...on ALL FOUR PAWS. This is an issue that I'm very strongly and adamently against, but it's not my place, nor my business, to question their motives. The declawing procedure is scheduled.

On the day of the procedure, I told the surgery tech (who is also a very good friend) to inform me how it went, and what I should be expecting (I was scheduled to work later on that afternoon). That day I was very anxious, like a mom sending her kid to school for the first time. Then I realized I was over over-reacting. Cosmo's too stubborn, and too much of a fighter.

My pal called. She was crying. Cosmo didn't make it through the procedure. His little heart gave out.

That was the biggest lesson I learned during my short stint at the animal hospital. For a little furball, he had a colossal amount of bravery. He taught me a lot about love, fighting for everything you believe in, and acceptance. That was two years ago. I still remember and cry over Cosmo to this day. I suppose that is why I secretly desire to enter the profession once again. You just don't get those kind of lessons anywhere else.

"Enjoy Unemployment"

The words still haunt me. The words, "enjoy unemployment" effortlessly sashayed out of the mouth of a man in his mid-70's, who is at a point in his life where he is looking back on it. You would think that he is a very sentimental sort, and wishes more than anything in the world that a real time machine exists to fix all the wrongs in his life. It's strange because I am at that point now, and I am nowhere near 70 years of age.

Last week, I had a nice visit with a man (and his lady friend) who is also a tax client of my husband. I decided to make it a point to "network" (as much as I disagree with it) with all of his clients because it is apparently all the rage to getting a job these days. When I mentioned that I was out of work and looking for a job, he replied, "Enjoy unemployment."

"Oh. Okay." I said, and that wasn't really the answer I was looking for.

I must have given him a strange look, as I often unconsciously do whenever anyone tells me something out of the ordinary.

Then I got a little snippy; not towards him, but at my situation as a whole. I tried my best not to let him know that. Old folks don't always say or do things that coincide with the world as it is today. So I was ready to blow off his advice, until he said this:

"When I was working, I was very dedicated to my work. I had no time to do any of the other things that I've always wanted to do. My career was my hobby. You don't want to have to look back at your life regretting all the things you never got a chance to do."

There. There is where he got my attention.

Intrigued, I said, "Well yes, but all the things I've always wanted to do involves money, and having a job to pay for these things might be a big help."

Not to be outdone, the man said, "Have you always wanted to play the piano? Have you always wanted to write a book? I'm talking about teaching yourself and take it from there. It doesn't always have to be about money."

I did not have any kind of retort. It was almost as if he was fiercely shaking me and saying "Snap out of it!" I didn't say anything at all. I just gave him a blank stare. I stared into his eyes for a few seconds, but in those few seconds, they told a lifetime of stories.

"There is a book I've always wanted to write about my family tree. It was something that I've always wanted to do for a really long time, but never had the time. That will change now, and I will finally have the availability to start this project. I'm very excited." he said.

At this point, I am bedazzled. When I was younger, I didn't take advice very well, especially from older folks (I still don't, but as I get older I've become more appreciative). I always blew off the older folks, thinking that the old folk are stuck in the big band era, and things that were acceptable then are acceptable today. I never took their advice seriously. After all, the person that knows me the best is, well....me. So how can I heed their advice when they're not fully aware of what is happening in the world around them?

Lately I have been spending much of my time recollecting on things that I should have done and shouldn't. I am guilty of focusing on a lot of "what ifs" and constantly wonder had I chose a different path, if I would have spotted the gold at the end of the rainbow. There a lot of things in my life that I absolutely wish I would have done differently, or better yet -- smarter. Recollecting, for me, is very draining on the emotions. After I think about what has occurred on my life, then I become analytical, and desire to construct some sort of pie graph and analyze my life that way. Let's just say I'm just wandering through this crazy thing called life. I become discombobulated when it comes to the calling of 'by the way, life stopped by.'

Bar and pie graphs aside, nothing will change my current situation, but I can make the best of it. I suppose that it is why the man's words hit me the way they did, because I do have the power to do anything I want to do -- to change things -- to rule the world. Sometimes we need little reminders like this to make us snap out of it. Life doesn't change. Life is full of obstacles. There are still heartaches, friendships, love, good times, and bad times in any era. Senior citizens are not the exception to the life rule. Those old folks....they have already lived a lifetime. And for some fogeys, they have lived so much of a life (good, bad, otherwise) that the youngins' can only fathom. As I get older, such advice becomes appreciative more than ever. I no longer think old folks are just trying to get hip with the kids today. It's more like, 'be satisfied with your life by the time you're my age,' and 'right now you're not ready -- but someday you will be.'

I am noting this here because it has everything to do with my job search. Much of my recollections reflect to my decision-making and my career. Being unemployed can really bring a person down. Four years ago I resigned from a reputable newspaper -- it was my favorite gig. It was a job that wore many hats while learning about all aspects of the industry. Now that industry is suffering, and I feel like I'm suffering with it. On a daily basis, I briefly wonder had I not chose to resign, would I still be there today?

I can't do anything about that now, but I can use the past to guide me into the future. In following the advice from my friend, I am teaching myself certain programs and applications to further enhance my skills in the job market. After that, I'm moving on to the piano.

Unemployment rocks my leprechaun balls!

It is a beautiful spring day in the Midwest. There is not a cloud in the sky. The birds are out in full force. Spring flowers are peeping just an inch above the ground as a reminder that Spring is almost here. There's corn beef and cabbage in the slow cooker, and the entire home is embellished with a festive air with a cross between the corn beef and the highly welcoming Spring fresh air. I am currently sitting on my deck as I type this, and it's been long overdue. There are pros and cons to being unemployed. This is definitely a pro.

Back in the "glory" days when I was working full-time, I recall going to work begrudgingly on days like today. I love to be outside every waking moment, so lunch time couldn't come fast enough. Sometimes I would return from lunch tardy on purpose, but this kind of weather never puts anyone in a bad mood as I never got in trouble for it. In fact, my peers were very understanding.

Even though I enjoy days like today, this is not to suggest that I'd rather be home for the rest of my life. While I'm laughing at everyone (including my husband) that have no choice but to commute during inclimate circumstances, a little part of me wishes I was part of the laughing stock. I enjoyed my moments commuting to and from work, because that was my one and only time I am entitled to get lost in my own world. I do have that time now, in fact, maybe it's a little too much. That was certainly the case during the winter, where I was trapped in the house because it was too cold or there was a snowstorm. Indeed, I was suffering from massive cabin fever. That would not have been the case if I was working.

On the contrary, I would not have taken the time to prepare a celebratory home-cooked meal for the hubs for St. Patty's Day. He is only a third Irish, but loves everything about the culture. He's a good guy who deserves a hearty, home cooked meal, but in the days when we both worked, home-cooking was not possible. I am the type of girl who after a long days work, all I want to do is go home and unwind. I hated the idea of slicing, dicing, frying, baking right when I got home. The clean-up was the worst. On the occasional moment where we cooked and sat down for dinner, by the time we were done with cleanup, it was nearly time for bed.

Yes - it's safe to assume I miss those days. I still go to bed early and wake up by 6 am, because the last thing I want to do is fall into the trap of not sticking to schedule. I prepare coffee for the hubs, check the e-mail, feed and medicate my precious 12 year old diabetic feline, Pookie, eat breakfast, feed my two very spoiled beagles, and then figure out what the heck to do for the rest of the day. When I was working, I ALWAYS had something to do...anything to keep my brain from turning into mush.

A friend made a comment to me last night about my unemployment. He said, "Enjoy it." He must have sensed my skepticism, because then he followed it up with, "Take the time to do all the things you've always wanted to do. When you get to be my age, you don't want to have to look back at your life regretting about the things you haven't done."

He is in his mid-70's, and his words came out like words of solace. I never thought I'd appreciate such words of advice, but there was something about his wisdom that made me feel more at ease. Then it occurred to me...all the things that I want to do involves money! What's a girl to do?

At any rate, I will enjoy unemployment in celebration of warmer air, leprechaun love, and a bright outlook for the future. Beautiful weather like this puts me in a fantastic mood by default. In addition, I have applied at three positions this week so far, two of which match my qualifications perfectly. I am pretty sure that's a record. Long live Spring and a happy St. Patty's Day to all!

Death to the "What If" monster

I dared to add a post on Friday the 13th. This goes to show how adventurous I am. Not that I'm superstitious. Ok, maybe I am a little. There's always that "what if" possibility. Quite frankly, I am sick and tired of Mr. What If hanging over my head just to terrorize me.

Which brings me to the subject of resume reconfiguration. What if I customized it according to the job I'm applying for? What if I changed to a functional format as opposed to hybrid? What if I changed it to chronological version? By doing any of these things, I might just increase my chances of landing an interview. That also depends if the moonlight is shining in just the right spot.

I cannot help where the moon decides to cast its light. I am capable of formatting my resume in all sorts of ways, but I do not have the ability to control someone's mood. After doing a bit of research on resume reconfiguration, I have concluded that shorter is better, but there is no definitive answer on the "best" format. It depends on the mood. I am fighting with moods.

This "resume coach" says that. This hiring manager says this. A recruiter says 'perfect as long as the sun is shining.' The other recruiter says, 'perfect as long as the sun is shining and it's 80 degrees.' Well....what the hell? Clearly, there is no right or wrong answer. If it's just a matter of striking the right mood, I might as well let sleeping dogs lie and wait for which dog will wake up from its nap and take a bite out of me.

I cannot help moods. I cannot help the reading preferences of others. I cannot gamble on the "what if" possibilities because I'm fully aware that life is too short. On the contrary, I inhabit the infamous characteristic of a Virgo, which is the habit to get pissy over things I can't control. As a job seeker, this gets me especially pissy. If only I knew the golden answer why my resume frequently gets skipped. It's a matter of keywords, you say? Yes, the recruiting world will often advise using the right keywords....but they'll never tell you what those keywords are! Those tricky dickies!

My resume has not changed its format in the last ten years. Obviously it was functional enough to get the attention of previous employers. It's obviously not broke, and I'm not fixing it. So what's changed in all that time? The people have changed....not my resume.
Having said all that, it's senseless for me to over-analyze and spend precious time re-configuring my resume when it's really a matter of striking the right chord. Hell, I'm still searching for a resume hitman. My resume is inconvienant is hell. It's bothering me and taking up uneccesarry space on my hard drive.

As you can tell, I'm not a big fan of my resume, or any resume for that matter. By releasing my resume to random strangers, they now know everything there is about my work history. But what if I don't wish to reveal everything up front? What am I supposed to talk about in the interview? Doesn't almost every interview include questions to the likes of, "So tell me about your work history?" or "tell me how you got started in this profession?" Redundant. I'm basically repeating my resume with a bit of added flair. It's just like a blind date. If I knew everything there is to know about that person ahead of time, from his childhood nickname to his past three divorces, I would be less inclined to go out with him, because the mystique just wouldn't be there.

Yesterday I applied for a position and did not include my resume in its entirety. I only included relevant work history, computer skills, and education. Am I hiding anything? Hell to the no. If by chance I get selected for an interview, I will be more than happy to reveal my life story at that time. As I always say...at this point I've got nothing to lose.

I will pass on the six-figure income opportunity, but thanks.

  Spam and scam! This person made it evident he never read the actual posting, because he apparently cannot make the distinction of whether I posted an ad or a resume. A classic scammy pyramid scheme:

"I reviewed your resume and or ad posted on craigslist and I am interested in talking with you.  We are expanding rapidly on both sides of our business:

1.  Our foreclosure and real estate investing company is swamped and we are looking for a variety of positions to to fill.  If you are familiar with the sign on the side of the road that says "We Buy Houses"  "Stop Foreclosure"  or "We take over your House Payments"  that is exactly what we do.

2.  We represent and do marketing for 2 online Universities and are expanding into different markets to keep up with the demand with so many students and professionals going back for continuing education in this economy.

I am seeking individuals with a variety of skill sets and experience to fill a variety of roles.  I encourage you to get in touch with us to get all the information before making any decisions.  My main focus is to find my replacements, I am seeking 4 highly qualified individuals who are seeking a 6 figure income and are looking for an opportunity to thrive in.  If this is you, please inform me that this is the position you are interviewing for.



1.  What are your career goals?

2.  What is the most important thing to you in a company you work with?

3.  Are you teachable and willing to be mentored?

4.  Are you able to make decisions and take action?  Will I waste deals by giving them to you? Y/N

5.  How quickly would you like to see results and get paid?  Are you looking for PT/FT?


Please view the introduction video posted below and then reply mail to us your answer to the 5 questions above.

If you have not called JADE my assistant and scheduled a phone interview you may do so by calling ...."

How my blog will help my job search

It won't.

My blog has too much sarcasm (and *gasp* some truth) for any employer to take me seriously. And you know what...that's okay. That is because my blog was never intended to be used as a supplement to my resume. As a matter of fact, I'm trying my hardest to kill off my resume, but it remains to be a very slow death. I am wondering if there are any resume hitmen, because I'm willing to pay top dollar...in monopoly money. It's all I have, but it's good!

On the contrary, my blog does help me in other ways. For example, it allows me to document any schemes that I've devised in my head. I am fully supportive of radical, innovative thinking. If you're the type that actually follows through with your plan, then I would have to marry you. Unless, of course, it involves killing people, which may not be the greatest idea and very unlikely you will get the job, unless your name is Dr. Doom. He is the only exception to the rule.

I am referring to sketching out ideas and constantly looking for innovative approaches to the job search. It's brutal out there, for sure. This is especially the case with Craigslist (you can stop cringing now). While seasoned job seekers are fully aware that Craigslist is the *last* place they would search to find any kind of legitimate job, it can be used as an outlet to showcase your talent and/or ideas. Craigslist isn't just for hookers and call girls anymore, folks!

For some godly reason, I went over to the "resumes" section on Craigslist. I'm not really sure why, but I was certainly appalled that so many people are willing to post private information. By that, I mean e-mail addresses...and phone numbers! It's almost as if these folks are asking for trouble. They might as well say, 'yes...I LOVE spam! It's the only kind of attention I get these days! Spam away!' Having said that, then they deserve to be spammed. What are they thinking? I was going to let these people off the hook had they provided an e-mail address only....but phone numbers too???! All I can say is, I wish them a plentiful amount of bad luck in their "get rich pyramid schemes" because they asked for it and that is the only type of response they will ever get.

Well not I. I built up enough nerve to post my resume, but not in redundant fashion. After all, how many times have you seen countless number of job postings, some lengthy than they out to be, some very strict with wording, and some just outright ridiculous? Day in and day out, the job hunt gets mundane, boring, and job postings are all sounding to be like a broken record. I decided to turn things around. In this market, anything goes, and at this point, I've got nothing to lose. I've decided to write my resume as a job posting seeking the ideal employer. Behold:

Seasoned executive assistant in search of an employer who routinely practices integrity, collaborative practices, innovative strategy, and the ability to achieve results. You must be able to support those with a creative spirit and inhabit the kind of work ethic that is genuinely caring and non-toxic. You must be able to make the distinction of not taking yourself too seriously, but know how to get the job done at the same time.

MINIMUM QUALIFICATIONS

• You must be a small to mid-size company
• A minimum of 25 years in the industry
• Must be a BBB accredited business.
• Those in the private sector strongly preferred.
• You must have the ability to exercise independent judgment and basic reasoning skills.
• Have ongoing training and seminars for your employees.
• Be a good listener.
• Any industry that deals with Advertising and/or Media Relations strongly preferred, but not required.
• Routinely exercises in good judgment and discretion.
• Be willing to compensate the prospective employee in accordance with their experience.
• A fast-paced environment is preferred, but not required. I previously worked with a newspaper so I am adept to working under deadline.

• MUST have an excellent sense of humor.

The ideal candidate will receive in return:

• Demonstrated advanced proficiency level in Microsoft Word, Excel, PowerPoint, and Outlook.
• Compelling verbal, written, and interpersonal expertise.
• Working knowledge of Photoshop, specifically photo retouching and manipulation.
• Working knowledge of desktop publishing
• Some HTML and CSS (formatting)
• Project/database/record/calendar management.
• Strong organizational skills. (I like to write down stuff and hang post-it notes all over my desk. All business-related. If you’re not a fan of post-it notes, then I highly suggest you stop reading NOW).
• A cheerful, pleasant, jovial employee that would probably brighten your day. I like to laugh. A lot. I have achieved an impeccable balance between joking around and getting the job done in a timely and efficient manner. You must appreciate that. If you don’t…thank you for applying and please drive through.

I am NOT an EOJA (Equal Opportunity Job Applicant). Spamcruiters, Scamcruiters and Bots are NOT encouraged to apply, and if you do anyway, you will be publicly humiliated. If you do not meet the minimum qualifications, don’t bother applying. Your company will be fully researched (BBB.org, Snopes, etc.) before I decide to respond.

Have a fabulous day!!

Since yesterday, I got spammed by "entrepreneur" Jason Secrest, who promises a six-figure income; Scott Lodor, whose signature includes "earn 5-10k monthly"; a scamruiter who replied with "interesting ad!" yet spammed me about her GEM staffing agency. Since these people are only out to rip off desperate jobseekers, I feel no shame whatsoever in making their presence known publicly. It can be argued that it could work the other way around. Legitimate hiring managers can argue they do not publicly humiliate applicants that do not meet the job requirements, so why would it be different on the opposite side of the coin? Simple...when was the last time you heard anything about a job applicant that scammed a hiring manager and/or recruiters out of hundreds...or even thousands...of dollars?

I don't expect to get any serious inquiries from my ad on Craigslist. But it makes for a good laugh. I may even get a nomination for "Best of Craigslist!" I'm SO putting that on my resume if that turns out to be the case!

Poem for 8.1%

It was reported on my news just today
that more jobs have willfully gone astray
I can't say that I'm surprised by this
because everyone around me is getting a diss

Damn you employers, we know you don't care
A large part of me thinks you're full of hot air.
Kids and pets everywhere need to be fed
and now we have to struggle to pay for bread

Actually, my situation is not that bad
But there are others who are hungry and sad
More people losing their cars and their homes
Or they're just thinking in awe, and talking to gnomes

Off to the unemployment office I go!
There's a long line - I cringe and I woe
I look around to find people as cranky as me
Wondering if this is the way things are supposed to be.

I couldn't wait anymore, my patience has run dry
I've grown bitter and cranky and left wondering why.
I've now realized what makes the employers tick
especially YOU, Money Mailer, for your pathetic tactic.

I spend much of my time watching tv and the news
clean house, do the laundry and making some stews.
This is what my typical day is like
But I don't approve, and not good for my psych.

I feverishly peruse the Monsters, the Careerbuilders, and other useless boards
Because there is a little bit of hope - but in the end, they're ALL whores.
I network and spread the word to everyone I encounter
The only response I get is, "My company's not hiring - since when you're for hire?"

I could start my own business, and be happy that way
That idea got nixed - where is the money so I can pay?
No one will buy anything, except for staples,
and buy that I mean, milk, bread, and maybe some apples.

To you, 8.1%, I know you have no control
over this madness of letting the good people go
Now we shall expect profit margins to rise
while I'm secretly wishing for these company's demise.

Karma is everything, or so I'm told,
what comes around, goes around, and I soon will find gold.
I'm not really good at poems as you can tell,
but this isn't to say that I soon will prevail.

Back in the day, job searching wasn't that hard
There were jobs, good resumes, and the interview- you were hired.
There's no such things as a "strategy" as some job coaches will say
Because these are the folks that take advantage of unemployed, go away!!

For those with jobs, I hope you have sense
You could be next - there goes your dollars and cents.
Be nice to those around you, a smile goes a long way.
Because one day you may find your job gone and astray.

To you, 8.1%, these are tough times
we've been through this before, but this time
with crappy rhymes.

Be happy, be strong, and don't lose faith
Things will turn soon for the good very soon....
I have to quit now because I'm running out of rhymes
and I have to pee....but keep the faith!

So I am not a poet. If there's a bright side, think of it as a crappy poem for crappy times. You know it's true. My poem is a reflection of uncertain times.

Green Collar Jobs Board

I found this job board today that supports Obama's plan to weatherwize the world and make our planet a greener, happier place. I have no issues with that. However, I was reluctant at first because I'm not a fan of job boards. But, in perusing some of the jobs, a lot of them have an actual "reply to" address and not the horrible "Apply Now" button. In addition, I really like this because you can locate the kind of jobs that takes part preserving our habitat, create a more friendly eco-system, better and cleaner fuel and energy, and weatherization. Awesome....and it's worth the effort to look. Sharing the love.

Much thanks to MediaJobsDaily for the link.

Green Collar Job Board

Money. Greed. We get it.

There is a reason why I do not get overly excited about welcoming the new year anymore. So far the new year has been dismal. Not just from my end, but it has been dismal to close friends and relatives.

I received more bad news yesterday. In addition to the Dow falling 299 points, my husband phones me from the road with some "interesting" news, as he put it. My brother-in-law was let go from his job after many years (not to mention the hours he put in) with the employer. And it was really shitty the way his employer handled it.

My brother-in-law took a short leave of absence because of surgery on his knee. He informed the employer that he was scheduled to have the surgery and he is expected to go through physical therapy afterward. With this in mind, he made sure all bases were covered before he left, and even trained someone to fill his shoes while he was on leave. I heavily suspect that was his biggest mistake. While still in rehabilitation, he received a phone call from his (former) employer and informed him that his services were no longer needed.

Once upon a time, employers used to really go out of their way for their employees. At one time they showed genuine support and realized their employees played a major role in helping their business succeed. I'm not just referring to monetary measures. I'm talking about genuine support, the kind of inquiries that reach out to the folks who are going through health, financial, or emotional obstacles. For example, back in the day, perhaps the employer would send a small basket of flowers, or even a card, to say "Get well soon...we look forward to seeing you back on your feet!" But no. None of that happened with my brother-in-law. Instead, his (hypothetical) card read, "Thanks for training someone to take your place. Your services are no longer needed because you inadvertently saved us money by cutting our payroll. Oh...did you have surgery on your knee or something? We got so excited over your replacement, we hardly noticed. Best of luck to you."

I know there are some legal loopholes that prevent former employees from suing in cases like this...but can it be any more obvious? Employers today just doesn't give a crap about their employees. It's all about money. And greed. And money....did I mention greed?

I frequently have this debate with my husband, whose argument is always the same. "That's how business is. You're in it to make money. Nothing more."

"Be that as it may, but you can't make money if you don't have employees to develop and enhance the product for you!" I would say.

His retort: "If there is no demand, it doesn't matter what the employees do. It's a fundamental strategy of business....supply and demand."

My brother-in-law was a head chef. Don't people always want to eat? Considering our country's eating habits, my husband's fundamental strategy would not apply. But getting the most bang for your buck would.

Cptn. Sully Sullenberger, famous for "Miracle on the Hudson," got his pension cut and 40% reduction on pay in the last few years. I would think there will always be frequent flyers, mostly business. I wonder how my husband's logic would apply here? It doesn't. It's about getting more bang for the buck.

Spike O'Dell, a widely known broadcaster on WGN radio, recently "retired" last December. His show dominated the morning radio airwaves in the #1 spot for several years. Having said that, there was an obvious demand for his style and quick wit. The Tribune Company decided they couldn't afford him anymore, because he was THAT good. He was THAT valuable. Logic tells me that employers would hold onto valuable employees like Spike. Unfortunatley, The Tribune Company decided that money was more important, and proposed a "retirement package." Take this offer, or we're going to fire you anyway.

Unfortunatley, that is all the rage with employers these days. I often wonder if they are really hurting or if it's just a conspiracy to enhance their price per share. The poor attitudes that is being displayed nowadays gears me towards the latter. I just wish I could have written a more uplifting post, but I can't find it in me to be funny right now.

I suppose I can find solace in the fact that I know I'm not alone in this situation. But until we can eradicate the greed that's ruining this country, I remain nervous and skeptical at the same time.

I can't wait for my next job interview, as I will be asking the employer about THEIR long term goals. Where do THEY see themselves in five years?